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WEEKLY WHINE

... 2011 | 2012 | 2013 | 2014 | 2015 | 2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019

ALL INTERFACES ARE AVAILABLE

“Use Secure Shell instead.” Load letter into your printer, not your PC, in All Interfaces Are Available.

Keywords: Computers, Variety

2017 GOOBNET FEARS OF DONALD J TRUMP CHAMPIONSHIP: RESULTS

“We suspect that many of the pundits in the dishonest media were confused by the premise of the tournament – we were looking for the thing that Donald J Trump is most afraid of, not what he should be most afraid of.” Discover which of these great fears was the most bigly tremendous in the 2017 GoobNet Fears of Donald J Trump Championship: Results.

Keywords: Variety, Politics, Tournament

NO NEED TO ASK LARRY

“We are, of course, using the word enjoy sarcastically.” Know that we totally didn’t mean anything we said in No Need to Ask Larry.

Keywords: Variety, Review committee

ADVANCE NOTIFICATION

“We would like to apologise for this, because most of you are exceptional actors who have turned in wonderful performances in a variety of different films and television programmes.” Be completely honest about your shortcomings and give Advance Notification.

Keywords: Variety

COOL JUG EARS, RACE ME

“Nerd Balm: Sport It!” See why we totally need Jim Parsons as the pitchman for Cool Jug Ears, Race Me.

Keywords: Variety, Sport, Football, MLS

MAKE US SOCCER GREAT AGAIN

“I have never seen a birth certificate!” Realise that everything is sad, unfair, and sadly unfair, at least until we Make US Soccer Great Again.

Keywords: Sport, Politics, Variety, Football, United States

CREATE THE W

“Exists in most of the other things on this list.” Express immense relief that for once we are not talking about the proton and the electron in Create the W.

Keywords: Variety

SAMSAN GYMNASIUM

“Today, we look ahead to the second presidential debate. Which candidate will interrupt the other more? Which candidate will avoid more of the public’s questions? We have all the answers that we just made up and that you could have predicted anyway!” Know all along that there was not really any point in tuning in to Samsan Gymnasium.

Keywords: Variety, Transit game

ANALOGISE RESPONSIBLY

“But you should stop that, because we have totally cracked your code.” Rest assured that we know exactly what you mean by “empty the Pixy Stik” in Analogise Responsibly.

Keywords: Politics, Variety

RUSH FOR THE EXITS

“We’re not wearing anything ridiculous like that. Fuck off.” Tell Roger Goodell in which direction he may mark off the fifteen yards in Rush for the Exits.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, American football, NFL, Sport uniforms

I TAKE MY CLOTHES OFF IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION

“And after that, it must figure out what it is going to do with Dilma Rousseff.” Discover a solution better than “change the colour of her diving pool” in I Take My Clothes Off in Your General Direction.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Summer Olympics, Review committee

GRABBING FOR THE RINGS

“Having ten boxing events for men, but only three for women, is an outrage.” See who has the will of the warrior in Grabbing for the Rings.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Summer Olympics

ARBITRARY ARACHNIDS

“This name conjures up amusing images of a meerkat refusing to stand sentry, shouting to the clan, ‘I’m Doug! Man, I’m outta here!’” Enthusiastically greet Louie and exhort him to dip his balls into a gift presented by the Arbitrary Arachnids.

Keywords: Computers, Variety

ESTABLISHMENT OF A LINGO

“I’ve never heard of that.” Prepare for further edumacation in Establishment of a Lingo.

Keywords: Variety

THE MOST UNLIKELY CHAMPIONS

“With José Mourinho back at the helm, the Blues were once again unstoppable.” Set sail on the good ship HMS Modesty in The Most Unlikely Champions.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, England

FEMALE FOOTBALLERS AND FUNDING

“These are the exact same things the male players do, and the female players are working just as hard at it.” Do the right thing in Female Footballers and Funding.

Keywords: Propaganda, Sport, Variety, Football

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