WEEKLY WHINE
TOP KEYWORDS
373 | Sport |
307 | Variety |
246 | Support |
226 | Community |
212 | Football |
160 | Novelty |
111 | SPEED |
102 | Space |
93 | Mailbox |
73 | Interaction |
71 | Men’s World Cup |
69 | Interactive |
69 | Politics |
63 | Edvard |
62 | Propaganda |
58 | SPLUT |
49 | Computers |
47 | Knowledge |
45 | American football |
32 | Review committee |
31 | Mathematics |
30 | MLS |
30 | Stump Edvard |
30 | Tournament |
29 | Game shows |
29 | Schmilblick Patrol |
28 | Basketball |
25 | Prediction |
22 | United States |
21 | Focal Plane |
21 | Solar system |
21 | Women’s World Cup |
MON 11 JUN 2012
THE EARTHICAN CHRONICLES
“Wait a minute, GoobNet. I never said that.” Determine your top backpedalling speed in The Earthican Chronicles.
Keywords: Support, SPLUT
MON 09 APR 2012
SUMMARY OF NOW
“Have your crazy upstairs neighbours turn off their secret dream transmission device, or at least ask them to change it to something besides the GoobNet Satellite Programming Live Using Television network.” Explain why you had that one crazy dream about Reg, Amber Lynn, and a bottle of windshield wiper fluid in Summary of Now.
Keywords: Support, SPLUT
MON 06 FEB 2012
THROW YOUR HEAD INTO THE RING
“Ironically, we can’t get the votes for it in the House.” See if the White House is willing to prepare a bedroom for us in Throw Your Head Into the Ring.
MON 28 NOV 2011
THE LATEST FROM EARTH
“You could run away from the world and become a hermit.” Determine whether hermits have good Internet connections in The Latest from Earth.
Keywords: Support, SPLUT
MON 25 JUL 2011
THINGS ARE CURRENTLY NOT ALL THAT PLEASANT
“You will also find exclusive Internet only features about each of these stories on our Twitter account.” See why we never have more than 140 characters to say about anything in Things Are Currently Not All That Pleasant.
Keywords: Support, SPLUT
MON 09 MAY 2011
HAS YOUR FRAME BEEN DRAGGED?
“Last week, we were all witnesses to the massive announcement that the data from NASA spacecraft Gravity Probe B confirms two key predictions of general relativity theory.” See if your orbit has precessed less than you anticipated in Has Your Frame Been Dragged?.
MON 10 JAN 2011
WE TOO AVOID HEAT’S HOTEL
“You know what you did, basketball.” Determine whether David Stern has any shame in We Too Avoid Heat’s Hotel.
MON 15 NOV 2010
DEMOCRACY: 50,000,000 OTHERS LIKE THIS
“Wouldn’t it be wonderful if there was a television network that carried thoughtful, in depth examinations of the upcoming events and trends that are most likely to affect you and the world around you?” Keep dreaming in Democracy: 50,000,000 Others Like This.
Keywords: Support, SPLUT
MON 26 APR 2010
PREPARE FOR THE HOLLYHOCK REVOLUTION
“But although we cover a comprehensive range of topics that affect everyone in the world, there are some stories that we regret we cannot give our customary full attention and insightful coverage to.” See why nobody ever asks us to produce their DVD special features in Prepare for the Hollyhock Revolution.
Keywords: Support, SPLUT
MON 22 MAR 2010
SELF LOATHING
“So when you watch the sports programmes on the GoobNet Satellite Programming Live Using Television network, you will likely be reminded of a crowded sports bar, in which thirty percent of people are watching game A and cheering for one of the teams involved, twenty percent are watching game B and cheering for one of the teams involved, twelve percent are watching game C and cheering for one of the teams involved, thirty one percent are watching any of games D through K and cheering for one of the teams involved, and the remaining seven percent are feigning interest in any of games A through K and pretending to cheer for one of the teams involved in hopes of hooking up with that one really hot fan of one of the teams involved in one of games A through K, the one who has been keeping up a really interesting conversation about breakfast foods and the local establishments that serve the best ones of each type, a conversation that has been interrupted every couple of minutes or faster with either a cheer of excitement or a groan of disappointment, and that member of the remaining seven percent has been nodding in agreement with the conversation, all whilst trying to react to that one of the teams involved in one of games A through K in the correct manner so that the one really hot member of the other ninety three percent won’t notice that anything is amiss and will totally go back to the home of that member of the remaining seven percent after that one of games A through K is over, but not to the home of that one really hot member of the other ninety three percent, because that member of the remaining seven percent is completely sure that the home of that one really hot member of the other ninety three percent is covered with posters and pictures of that team involved in that one of games A through K, and that member of the remaining seven percent is also completely sure that all those distractions are going to be completely irritating and will cause a loss of focus at the critical moment, thereby completely ending that member of the remaining seven percent’s chances with that one really hot member of the other ninety three percent, leaving that member of the remaining seven percent to rue the decision to go to the home of that one really hot member of the other ninety three percent rather than to host that one really hot member of the other ninety three percent and risk being found out as something less than a total freakish committed fan of that team involved in that one of games A through K.” Ask the guy behind the counter to turn on game L in Self Loathing.
MON 15 MAR 2010
THE SECOND BECKONS
“Other than that, though, it is important to understand cause and effect.” Examine a full and complete illustration of the complexities of causal links amongst all major events currently in progress in The Second Beckons.
Keywords: Support, SPLUT
MON 30 NOV 2009
GET SET TO KNOW YOUR WORLD
“Well then, you’re shit out of luck, aren’t you?” See how much luck your shit contains in Get Set to Know Your World.
Keywords: Support, SPLUT
MON 07 SEP 2009
ONLY 24 MORE PLACES REMAIN
“This is such a time.” Determine the suchness of this time in Only 24 More Places Remain.
MON 31 AUG 2009
LOUDER! LESS SENSICAL!
“No serious discussion until you’ve finished your incoherent screaming.” Discover what it takes to become Fox News’s best friend in Louder! Less Sensical!.
Keywords: Support, SPLUT
MON 06 JUL 2009
EIGHT WHO COULD POTENTIALLY BE MISSED
“As you are well aware, deaths of famous people are never funny.” Pay your last lack of respect to some important people in Eight Who Could Potentially Be Missed.
MON 22 JUN 2009
JOKES WILL NOT BE PROVIDED IN THIS FORMAT
“That’s right, the GoobNet Satellite Programming Live Using Television network continues to broadcast, regardless of whether anyone is watching it.” Take efficiency measurements that no one can confirm in Jokes Will Not Be Provided in This Format.
Keywords: Support, SPLUT
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