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BRINGING THE THRILL OF COOKIES TO YOUR FRONT DOOR

WEEKLY WHINE

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HOW TO BECOME A DUDE WHO PARTIES ON

“Your life has continually been hampered by people who are not excellent to each other.” Avoid all things bogus in How to Become a Dude Who Parties On.

Keywords: Support, Mixed Up Horoscopes

FORTY THIRD DOWN

“This was actually the subject of some very heated discussions here at GoobNet headquarters.” Discover who totally has an irrational hatred directed at the ineligible man downfield signal in Forty Third Down.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, American football, NFL

SEVENTEENTH DOWN

“The game recap hilariously listed the unsportsmanlike conduct as a 20 yard penalty.” Decide how many yards a thoughtless opining penalty would be in Seventeenth Down.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, American football, NFL

FLAGS THAT WE WILL PICK UP

“We have still been unsuccessful in launching our 24 hour sports news network, for reasons that will forever be a mystery to us.” Determine whether Commissioner Dole is available on such short notice in Flags That We Will Pick Up.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPLUT

THE CHARMS OF SHREVEPORT

“Note that peanuts are taken.” Vote for animal crackers or rice cakes in The Charms of Shreveport.

Keywords: Variety, Misfortune Cookies, High speed rail, HEARTANDSOUL

HEARTANDSOUL PHASE 4 COMPLETE

“And with this affordable alternative to air travel, there’s really no reason not to take advantage of this special opportunity and access any destination in this nation that you’d care to.” Get all your ΔΠΔ brothers and sisters together on the Spring Break Express to HEARTANDSOUL Phase 4 Complete.

Keywords: Support, SPEED, High speed rail, HEARTANDSOUL

AN EAGERLY ANTICIPATED ARRIVAL

“The Parking Point Designator or PPD angle, which the PM pilot gives her from the PGNS, tells her where to look along the horizontal scale to find the place where the computer thinks they are going to park.” Indicate to the computer that there’s no way you are going to fit between those two SUVs as you make An Eagerly Anticipated Arrival.

Keywords: Variety, Space, Obituary

HEARTANDSOUL PHASE 3 COMPLETE

“Many of you are here today.” Make sure that everyone woke up in time to get off at Tucson in HEARTANDSOUL Phase 3 Complete.

Keywords: Support, SPEED, High speed rail, HEARTANDSOUL

GOSH, THAT WANG IS XL

“So I guess you could call this a catastro-Feck-up.” Come to the conclusion that we are making no Fecking sense as you discover that Gosh, That Wang is XL.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Summer Olympics, Review committee

COPPER AND MARSHMALLOWS

“It has been far too long.” Know how long is long enough in Copper and Marshmallows.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Summer Olympics

STUMP EDVARD AND WIN A GOLD MEDAL

“What kinds of things are not acceptable to tweet?” Determine whether you should keep your thoughts about the number of Africans in Greece to yourself [hint: ναι] in Stump Edvard and Win a Gold Medal.

Keywords: Sport, Community, Edvard, Stump Edvard, Summer Olympics

PLEASE PROCEED DIRECTLY TO SOME OTHER LANE

“Information below is accurate, if at all, as of SUN 29 JUL 2012.” Come face to face with another opportunity to locate the GoobNet Super Factual Error in Please Proceed Directly to Some Other Lane.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Summer Olympics

HEARTANDSOUL PHASE 2 COMPLETE

“You can now access the home cities of seventeen of the nineteen Major League Soccer clubs.” Be impatient for the addition of the Rocky Mountain Cup in HEARTANDSOUL Phase 2 Complete.

Keywords: Support, SPEED, High speed rail, HEARTANDSOUL

CONNECTIONS AVAILABLE DURING PHASE 1

“Dude, seriously, that LA to Vegas line cannot open soon enough.” Dude, you should totally talk to that hot chick in the next car on Connections Available During Phase 1.

Keywords: Community, Mailbox, High speed rail, HEARTANDSOUL

HEARTANDSOUL PHASE 1 COMPLETE

“You will see that we have plenty of system maps and timetables available.” Realise that there is no need to wait for HEARTANDSOUL Phase 1 Complete.

Keywords: Support, SPEED, High speed rail, HEARTANDSOUL

SEE THE USA FROM YOUR SLEEPING BAY

“We hope we can count on your support in getting this proposal off the ground.” Determine whether Fargo, ND gets its due in See the USA From Your Sleeping Bay.

Keywords: Support, SPEED, High speed rail, HEARTANDSOUL

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