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WEEKLY WHINE

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THE END OF AMBIGUITY

“And if they think we’re going to equip them with helmets or flak jackets, they have another thing coming.” Pay close attention to all announcements from Wen’s office in The End of Ambiguity.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, UEFA, Prediction

HELP THE 2016 MEN’S EUROPEAN CHAMPIONSHIP

“But that’s totally not the same thing.” Enjoy equality without identicality as you Help the 2016 Men’s European Championship.

Keywords: Sport, Community, Football, UEFA, Interactive

EUROPEAN FOOTBALL: ARRRGH!

“That was probably a miscalculation on your part, but still, thanks.” Avoid making the same mistake that Jack Warner made in European Football: ARRRGH!.

Keywords: Sport, Propaganda, Support, ARRRGH, Football, UEFA

FASTEST FINGER FEST: UEFA EUROPEAN CHAMPIONSHIP EDITION

“But how much do you know about this European Championship, and the thirteen that have been played previously?” Expect the inevitable question about Lev Yashin in Fastest Finger Fest: UEFA European Championship Edition.

Keywords: Community, Sport, Interactive, Game shows, Fastest Finger Fest, Football, UEFA

FAR FROM UNLIKELY

“Eight European nations were selected randomly for our team of prognosticators.” See who is going to stop Aberystwyth Town [everyone] in Far from Unlikely.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, UEFA, Prediction

CLEAR TO EVERYONE WHO DESERVES A SECOND CHANCE

“And you don’t even want to know what we’re going to do to them if they fuck this one up too.” Cower in fear at the prospect of what actions we might take in Clear to Everyone Who Deserves a Second Chance.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, UEFA, Prediction

CLEAR TO EVERYONE

“We here at GoobNet are pleased to present to you this prediction of the group and elimination phases of the 2009-10 UEFA Europa League [formerly the UEFA Cup].” See why Galatasaray are sure to be disappointed in Clear to Everyone.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, UEFA, Prediction

WHOLLY EVIDENT

“We here at GoobNet are pleased to present to you this prediction of the teams’ final positions in several major European football leagues.” Enjoy the total accuracy and foreknowledge of the upcoming results of 26 different leagues in Wholly Evident.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, UEFA, Prediction

SUPPORTERS ON PATROL

“Don’t be a donsiblee. Drink responsibly.” Take advice from someone who won’t take it from others in Supporters On Patrol.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, UEFA, Prediction

I CALL IT THE HMS MODESTY

"Carew will contemplate this information, and then say, 'Ooba-ooba nai-nai-nai wolka-wolka gam-gam-gam-gam ooba-ooba nai-nai-nai wolka...'." Don't be the one to miss Silly Noise Saturday in I Call It the HMS Modesty.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, UEFA, Prediction

YOU'LL NEVER BITCH ALONE

"Yeah! More TV money for us!" Know where your priorities really are in You'll Never Bitch Alone.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, UEFA, Prediction

NO WINNERS

"The Fascist Communications Commission - I mean the Federal Communications Commission - is reportedly reviewing the complaints to decide whether to begin an investigation." Defeat hypocrisy in bureaucracy in No Winners.

Keywords: Sport, Propaganda, Novelty, Football, UEFA, Basketball, NBA, American football

LIVING TO SUCK ANOTHER DAY

"Meanwhile, Tomáš Rosický scores three goals, all on headers, and Marek Heinz adds two, both on assers." Find convenient way to make use of rarely needed body parts in Living to Suck Another Day.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, UEFA, Men’s World Cup, Prediction

BETTER GET USED TO IT

"You feel out of place." Make an attempt to adjust to new surroundings in Better Get Used to It.

Keywords: Sport, Support, Mixed Up Horoscopes, Football, UEFA

FIRST OF THE MOHICANS

"Does the Pope wear boxers or briefs?" Challenge yourself to silly trivia in First of the Mohicans.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, MLS, UEFA

PORTUGAL GETS ITS KICKS

"And welcome back to Queer Ear for the Straight Deer, with our special guest, heterosexual footballer Dave Beckham." Return reality programming to fields and streams in Portugal Gets Its Kicks.

Keywords: Sport, Community, Mailbox, Football, UEFA

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