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WEEKLY WHINE

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BOOTS SAVES THE DAY, AS PER USUAL

“My other uterus was vestigial or absent.” Witness the Vagina Monologues take a wrong turn into Boots Saves the Day, As Per Usual.

Keywords: Support, SPLUT

A TRIUMPHANT RETURN TO SCOTLAND

“Way to go.” Agree with everything that Mr Goober says in A Triumphant Return to Scotland.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPEED, Football, Scotland, Sport uniforms

CANDIDATES TALK ABOUT CANDIDACY

“For sheer silliness, one must turn to the Republican and Democratic Parties.” Vote against everything the other guy stands for in Candidates Talk About Candidacy.

Keywords: Support, Politics, SPLUT

HAIL TO THE REFORMERS

“The mere fact that they are called ‘television timeouts’ is a clear admission that there is no competitive reason for them to exist.” Demand the introduction of milk and cookie breaks whilst singing Hail to the Reformers.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPEED, American football

UNITED PASSIONS FOR MONEY

“You will no doubt recall our first special on the arrests, titled ‘Beneath the Sheets with Arrested FIFA Officials’.” Don’t get too close to José Maria Marin in United Passions for Money.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPLUT, Football, FIFA

HOW TO RESTORE PRIDE IN FOOTBALL

“Footballers are people, not property.” Follow the lead of President Foudy as you discover How to Restore Pride in Football.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPEED, Football, FIFA

THE SOLUTION TO BASKETBALL

“At last, we have reached the long sought after utopia where the same foul results in the same penalty regardless of when during the game it occurs.” Win causality in The Solution to Basketball.

Keywords: Sport, Propaganda, Support, SPEED, Basketball

FIFTY SHADES ARE BLACKED OUT

“To that we say: The rest of the world can go fuck itself.” Realise that EL James was getting ahead of herself in Fifty Shades Are Blacked Out.

Keywords: Support, SPLUT, Canada, Nunavut

THE GOOBNET SPEED EST CHARLIE

“I said, where are you and when did you get there?” Understand your current world line in The GoobNet SPEED est Charlie.

Keywords: Support, SPEED, France

BEES

“In fact, so many things are happening that our coffee machine is broken.” Discover why you should have stuck with the hot chocolate in Bees.

Keywords: Support, SPLUT

REVISITING THE BEGINNINGS

“We love those salmon kits, you Salmoners.” Embark on a search for a club called the Rainbow Trouts in Revisiting the Beginnings.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPEED, Football, England

WAITING FOR THE BIG ONE

“Or is it the other way around?” Go about things wrong in Waiting for the Big One.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPLUT

SOLUTIONS FOR THE GAME

“FIFA still appears to believe that corruption is composed only of explicit bribery and quid pro quo deals.” Realise that you don’t want to know who is scratching Sepp Blatter’s back in Solutions for the Game.

Keywords: Sport, Propaganda, Support, SPEED, Football

RESULTS OF 2014 US BALLOT MEASURES

“We here at GoobNet are obviously going to have to reassess whether we will continue to provide this service to you in future.” Influence Reg’s decision making process by fixing his Jump to Conclusions mat in Results of 2014 US Ballot Measures.

Keywords: Politics, Propaganda, Support, United States

GUIDE TO 2014 US BALLOT MEASURES

“GoobNet recommends a no vote and reminds the people of Rhode Island that they have a legislature.” Live in abject fear of the day that Mr Griffin goes to Providence in Guide to 2014 US Ballot Measures.

Keywords: Politics, Propaganda, Support, United States

JOIN US IN KEEPING FEAR ALIVE

“They are obviously doing something right, considering that their reach is much greater than ours.” Find out why our FuchsiaZone channel is not coming in clearly in Join Us in Keeping Fear Alive.

Keywords: Support, SPLUT

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