GoobNet

GoobNet menu

GoobNet

CAUTION: CONTENTS MAY BE REACTIONARY OR ILL INFORMED

WEEKLY WHINE

... 2011 | 2012 | 2013 | 2014 | 2015 | 2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019

APPEALING TO LACK OF AUTHORITY

“Therefore she won’t like Tim Tams.” Discover the many unpleasant things that could happen to someone who stands between Amber Lynn and the Tim Tams in Appealing to Lack of Authority.

Keywords: Variety, Logic

OUR CHANCE TO MAKE FACES ON MARS

“And Edvard’s counterargument that we don’t have a video podcast really didn’t sway me.” Find out how long it takes to download a zero byte file in Our Chance to Make Faces on Mars.

Keywords: Space, Variety, Mars

GREATEST HITS

“The following Weekly Whines, presented in chronological order, received honourable mentions.” Find out that ‘The Replacement’ totally got robbed in Greatest Hits.

Keywords: Variety

HOT, FRESH RAISIN BREAD

“Pee Wee Herman is on assignment.” Find out why the basement of the Alamo has been closed for sixteen years in Hot, Fresh Raisin Bread.

Keywords: Variety, Whose Line

THE DEFINITIVE BASEBALL MASCOT EVALUATION

“He no longer performs that stunt, probably because it would void the warranty of Safeco Field.” Don’t waste your money on the protection plan in The Definitive Baseball Mascot Evaluation.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Baseball, MLB

A VARIETY OF LOCATIONS ON MARS

“There is even olivine to be found in parts of Syrtis Major, as well as a variety of interesting dikes.” Make sure Amber Lynn is paying attention in A Variety of Locations on Mars.

Keywords: Space, Variety, Mars

2013 GOOBNET GLOBAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE CUP

“Fifty leagues around the world have had at least one continental champion, of which the Argentine, Brazilian, Italian, Spanish, Uruguayan, German, Dutch, English, Portuguese, Paraguayan, and Serbian leagues have had at least one world champion.” Discover why PRK Hekari United totally got robbed in 2013 GoobNet Global Football League Cup.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Tournament, Football

RESPECT AND SUPPORT

“So what about the rice pudding?” Find out what was strange about Pia Sundhage’s guitar in Respect and Support.

Keywords: Variety, Sport, Propaganda, Football

NOT A JOKE, A SALES CAMPAIGN

“Hi, I’m Betty White for GoobNet.” Find out how hot it is in Cleveland in Not a Joke, a Sales Campaign.

Keywords: Variety, Advertising

FACILITIES THAT FACILITATE FOOTBALL

“Still, the artificial surface affects the style of play.” Laugh at how high the ball is bouncing in Facilities That Facilitate Football.

Keywords: Variety, Sport, Football, MLS

PARTIAL RECALL OF 2012

“Any damn fool can land on Mars with a huge wad of bounding air bags.” Become familiar with the type of damn fool that made a successful landing in Partial Recall of 2012.

Keywords: Variety, Review committee

ICE HOCKEY DECLINES ITS DAY IN THE SUN

“Although we certainly applaud their willingness to make adventurous changes, we boo the result.” Find out that we are not in fact talking about the change to the payroll tax in Ice Hockey Declines Its Day in the Sun.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Ice hockey, NHL, Sport uniforms

WHOLLY OBJECTIVE INDEXING OF STATES

“The land that gave America its own oven.” Find out the location of America’s Panini Press in Wholly Objective Indexing of States.

Keywords: Variety, United States

ASSESSMENT OF MAJOR TERMINALS

“Criteria include layout and ease of navigation, design, quality, services, and airlines serviced.” Find out why we need so many Wolfgang Puck Expresses in Assessment of Major Terminals.

Keywords: Variety, Aviation

YET ANOTHER REASON TO WEAR LONG SLEEVES

“Presumably that is due to the city’s desire to stay classy.” Determine what we’re yelling about in Yet Another Reason to Wear Long Sleeves.

Keywords: Variety, Sport

UPDATES REGARDING GOOBNET HALLOWEEN EVENTS

“The funds raised will be exchanged for United States dollars, which are only slightly less silly than GoobNet Silly Bucks.” Discover what human beings are good at as we bring you Updates Regarding GoobNet Halloween Events.

Keywords: Variety, Halloween, Administrivia

PLEASE SEND ALL INCOHERENT RANTS TO <GOOBNET‍@‍GOOBNET.NET>

© 2019 GOOBNET ENTERPRISES, INC [WHICH DOESN’T ACTUALLY EXIST HOWEVER]

THIS FILE ACCURATE AS OF: FRI 15 NOV 2019 – 23:17:38 UTC · GENERATED IN 0.104 SECONDS