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WEEKLY WHINE

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"TOGO-AGOGO" AND OTHER STUPID PUNS

"The slogan will be: 'Three men enter. One man leaves. And if his hips still work, he'll be the coach.'" Find a way to profit from oddities in "Togo-Agogo" and Other Stupid Puns.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, Togo, Men’s World Cup

NOT MAKING THE CUT

"I'm Jack Abramoff, and GoobNet is so great, I'm practically giving money away!" Join the lovefest in Not Making the Cut.

Keywords: Variety, Administrivia

STAY WHERE YOU ARE

"Those in the second row can easily decrement their row number by one, thus placing them in the first row." See the ability to change positions for yourself in Stay Where You Are.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, Men’s World Cup, Intercepted document

YOU CAN'T COMPARE THAT!

"And most importantly, if they're milling about on a train track and not paying attention to whatever locomotives might be bearing down upon them, don't they deserve to die?" Pragmatically turn your whims into principles in You Can't Compare That!.

Keywords: Variety

PULLING OUT A MASSIVE HAIRBALL

"If you see something other than a toaster, that's how you know you're not done with the program yet." Find a way to prolong participation in Pulling Out a Massive Hairball.

Keywords: Variety, Whose Line

STUNTED PUBLICITY

"The Capcoms' win over the Firebirds to close the season out may have been a meaningless match, but the team seemed to play with a new sense of purpose that hadn't been in evidence before." Bring order to a chaotic world in Stunted Publicity.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Flag capturing, ACFL

I CALL IT THE HMS MODESTY

"Carew will contemplate this information, and then say, 'Ooba-ooba nai-nai-nai wolka-wolka gam-gam-gam-gam ooba-ooba nai-nai-nai wolka...'." Don't be the one to miss Silly Noise Saturday in I Call It the HMS Modesty.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, UEFA, Prediction

BECAUSE OLD HORIZONS JUST SUCK

"Yeah, I live in the base on Cruella Peak. But I'm thinking of building a habitat on Pongo Planitia." See everything in black and white in Because Old Horizons Just Suck.

Keywords: Space, Variety, Solar system

SANTANA MUWOSS WILL LOVE IT

"And coincidentally enough, you can see an ESPN original movie, Cheergate: Behind the Stall Door, starring Michelle Trachtenberg and Michelle Thorne, this Saturday night at nine Eastern, six Pacific, right here on ESPN and ESPN HD." Fire up the Unintentional Comedy scale in Santana Muwoss Will Love It.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, American football, Prediction

IT'S ADVANCED PROBABILISTIC ANALYSIS WITH TARA REID!

"And if any of you media outlets %&@* this up again, we will personally deliver a lottery machine to your office so that you can conduct the experiment yourselves." Get the right answer for a change in It's Advanced Probabilistic Analysis with Tara Reid!.

Keywords: Variety, Review committee

SO MUCH FOR PAGANISM

"'No, I'm something else invisible,' she responds. 'I'm the coalition's exit strategy.'" Plan for everything except the important stuff in So Much for Paganism.

Keywords: Variety, Halloween

GIMMIE, GIMMIE, GIMMIE

"He thought about sending that to Fabrice until he realised that you can't use bicycle pumps, plated or not, to pump up a football." Take part in the festive Angolan atmosphere in Gimmie, Gimmie, Gimmie.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, Angola, Men’s World Cup

YOU'LL NEVER BITCH ALONE

"Yeah! More TV money for us!" Know where your priorities really are in You'll Never Bitch Alone.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, UEFA, Prediction

THE NON-SPECIAL ONES

"Yeah, I think it's a lot of fun. At least it looks like it when they do the little thing and they hold onto their belt and stuff like that." Refuse to get down tonight in The Non-Special Ones.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, England

THE GIRLS ARE BACK IN TOWN

"That changed this year, when fourth year Kyle Cumberland may have revolutionised flag capturing." Make a difference in your sport in The Girls Are Back in Town.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Flag capturing, ACFL

¿QUIÉNES SON CHIVAS USA?

"Thanks, Sierra Mist. Thanks a bunch. I'm gonna go buy some Sprite now." Have an encounter with product displacement in ¿Quiénes Son Chivas USA?.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, MLS

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