WEEKLY WHINE >> 2005
SUN 25 DEC 2005
IT'S ADVANCED PROBABILISTIC ANALYSIS WITH TARA REID!
"And if any of you media outlets %&@* this up again, we will personally deliver a lottery machine to your office so that you can conduct the experiment yourselves." Get the right answer for a change in It's Advanced Probabilistic Analysis with Tara Reid!.
Keywords: Variety, Review committee
SUN 18 DEC 2005
YOU CAN'T FOOL EDVARD
"I mean, you wouldn't want to spend a full day training here at the Russian cosmonaut base only to have to see some incomprehensible brand name on a urinal cake, would you?" Let familiarity breed illogic in You Can't Fool Edvard.
SUN 11 DEC 2005
INTERACTION: MEN'S WORLD CUP DRAW
"It's not what you did, it's what you're going to do." Conduct a preemptive strike in Interaction: Men's World Cup Draw.
Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Interaction, Football, Men’s World Cup
SUN 04 DEC 2005
WIN AND LOSE AT THE DRAW
"Thanks to the brilliantly slow work of our Javascript coders, you can do the draw yourself!" Make Germans and Dutch play together in Win and Lose at the Draw.
Keywords: Sport, Community, Football, Men’s World Cup, Interactive
SUN 27 NOV 2005
INTERACTION: DATELINE: DISHONESTY
"I just don't have time to go looking for guys at bars or laundromats or clubs or Yahtzee halls." Straighten out your love life with a small straight in Interaction: Dateline: Dishonesty.
Keywords: Novelty, Interaction
SUN 20 NOV 2005
OUR NEW FRIENDS ANGELA AND RENEE
"Do cheerleaders always share their driver's licenses?" Tackle the most pressing philosophical issues of the day in Our New Friends Angela and Renee.
SUN 13 NOV 2005
FROM TOFFEE APPLES TO TOFFEE PERMITS
"Hey, I'm eighteen and I was elected mayor too!" Stand up and be counted in From Toffee Apples to Toffee Permits.
SUN 06 NOV 2005
INTERACTION: CHEATERS NEVER PROSPER... OR DO THEY?
"This really gives you much more freedom in terms of the types of objects you can build with your nose hairs." Find creative ways out of a jam in Interaction: Cheaters Never Prosper... Or Do They?.
Keywords: Computers, Novelty, Interaction
SUN 30 OCT 2005
SO MUCH FOR PAGANISM
"'No, I'm something else invisible,' she responds. 'I'm the coalition's exit strategy.'" Plan for everything except the important stuff in So Much for Paganism.
SUN 23 OCT 2005
LOOK AWAY, JOE
"It also prompted Joe Buck to become Tom DeLay." Go from bad to worse in Look Away, Joe.
SUN 16 OCT 2005
SCHMILBLICK PATROL: SAMBA FAAL
"You ask a question around here, it's asked!" Go out on a limb in Schmilblick Patrol: Samba Faal.
Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Schmilblick Patrol, Football, Gambia
SUN 09 OCT 2005
GIMMIE, GIMMIE, GIMMIE
"He thought about sending that to Fabrice until he realised that you can't use bicycle pumps, plated or not, to pump up a football." Take part in the festive Angolan atmosphere in Gimmie, Gimmie, Gimmie.
Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, Angola, Men’s World Cup
SUN 02 OCT 2005
THAT'S MY SQUID!
"That's vomitacular." Prepare to be shocked even more than we normally shock you in That's My Squid!.
SUN 25 SEP 2005
FOCAL PLANE: MISPLACED MASCOTS
"Very good, Rick. Shall I throw it on the pyre along with Tammy's body stocking?" Meet the world's best dressed pyromaniac in Focal Plane: Misplaced Mascots.
Keywords: Computers, Novelty, Focal Plane
SUN 18 SEP 2005
YOUR TIE SHOT THE SHERIFF
"But be careful! Not all signs are ripe for the kicking, and not all vowels are ripe for the buying." Stop kicking at the whistle in Your Tie Shot the Sheriff.
Keywords: Support, Mixed Up Horoscopes
SUN 11 SEP 2005
SCHMILBLICK PATROL: TOSHIMITSU YOSHIDA
"We invite you into our studio, we give you a chance to win these wonderful prizes, and what do I get back? A short joke." Take the vertical challenge in Schmilblick Patrol: Toshimitsu Yoshida.
Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Schmilblick Patrol, Football, AFC, Men’s World Cup
SUN 04 SEP 2005
COLLEGIATE FIX
"But when we presented this task to them, most of them ran away screaming." Accept the challenge at the risk of your sanity in Collegiate Fix.
Keywords: Sport, Support, SPEED, American football
SUN 28 AUG 2005
BEHIND THE STUMP
"Look right there. It's got Tablet Up and Tablet Down keys." Play the Hardware Match Game in Behind the Stump.
SUN 21 AUG 2005
STUMPED BY A NEW VARIANT
"The authorities are on their way." Do what we tell you when we tell you in Stumped By a New Variant.
SUN 14 AUG 2005
INTERACTION: STS-114 REVIEW
"I have orange nail polish! Blue lipstick! A pierced lip, for %&@*'s sake!" Don't be a sheep in Interaction: STS-114 Review.
Keywords: Space, Novelty, Interaction, Space Shuttle
SUN 07 AUG 2005
INTERACTION: STS-114 EVA REVIEW
"He has the cutest little thing. He barks along with the theme music." Discover new ways to participate in television in Interaction: STS-114 EVA Review.
Keywords: Space, Novelty, Interaction, Space Shuttle
SUN 31 JUL 2005
INTERACTION: STS-114 RETURN TO SPACE
"Did they think I don't know what lemur $#!+ smells like?" Take on the unpleasant realities of space travel in Interaction: STS-114 Return to Space.
Keywords: Space, Novelty, Interaction, Space Shuttle
SUN 24 JUL 2005
INTERACTION: STS-114 DELAY
"An orbiter at the ISS is worth two in the VAB." Witness the meeting of Gene Kranz and Confucius in Interaction: STS-114 Delay.
Keywords: Space, Novelty, Interaction, Space Shuttle
SUN 17 JUL 2005
INTERACTION: STS-114 PREVIEW
"We need a really freaking big space station, one that rotates to simulate gravity, and that has the Blue Danube playing all the time." Line up for Space Mountain Plus in Interaction: STS-114 Preview.
Keywords: Space, Novelty, Interaction, Space Shuttle
SUN 10 JUL 2005
WELL, IT'S ABOUT FREAKING TIME
"I'm selling STS-114 foam rubber index fingers." Make an irrelevant contribution to human society in Well, It's About Freaking Time.
Keywords: Space, Community, Mailbox, Space Shuttle
SUN 03 JUL 2005
SCHMILBLICK PATROL: BERNIE ECCLESTONE
"Yes. I want to be eleven feet tall in time for my sister's wedding." Head for the self help section in Schmilblick Patrol: Bernie Ecclestone.
Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Schmilblick Patrol, Motorsport
SUN 26 JUN 2005
FOCAL PLANE: UNUSUAL PERFORMANCES
"Painted silver head to toe, Kathleen Ghinelli delivers a masterful performance as Avisa, a female android whose programming appears to feature a random fetish generator." Expose new methods of human-cyborg relations in Focal Plane: Unusual Performances.
Keywords: Novelty, Focal Plane
SUN 19 JUN 2005
HOW TO SHAKE HANDS WITH YOUR REFEREE
"But remember, being too kind with your handshake can be just as bad as being too harsh." Learn to bake and shake in How to Shake Hands with Your Referee.
Keywords: Sport, Support, Football, Instructional video
SUN 12 JUN 2005
YOU'LL NEVER BITCH ALONE
"Yeah! More TV money for us!" Know where your priorities really are in You'll Never Bitch Alone.
Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, UEFA, Prediction
SUN 05 JUN 2005
EVIDENTLY NOT YOU
"Is that all you could think about when you were playing? No wonder you left with zero." We beg you to take our Silly Bucks away in Evidently Not You.
SUN 29 MAY 2005
WHO WANTS TO BE A GOOBNETAIRE
"Now before you start getting any wacky ideas, let me just remind you that GoobNet Silly Bucks aren't negotiable currency, and they're not good for anything in the real world, and maybe not here on this site either." Just be glad there's no Fastest Finger question in Who Wants to Be a GoobNetaire.
Keywords: Community, Interactive, Game shows
SUN 22 MAY 2005
CSI: BOLOTNIKOVO
"The answer: No. And not just because 'localised global warming' is an oxymoron." Present the possibility of poor phrasing in CSI: Bolotnikovo.
SUN 15 MAY 2005
INTERACTION: LOOKING DOWN ON THE DPR
"Well Debbie, normally it's five days in the Chamber of Flames and then the weekend in the Room of Rotten Fish." Find a new way to keep those long car trips civil in Interaction: Looking Down on the DPR.
Keywords: Politics, Novelty, Interaction
SUN 08 MAY 2005
SCHMILBLICK PATROL: JEFF VAN GUNDY
"Well, I'm pretty sure we don't have any ghosts in our dressing rooms here." Give the paranormal their moment in the lights in Schmilblick Patrol: Jeff Van Gundy.
Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Schmilblick Patrol, Basketball, NBA
SUN 01 MAY 2005
THE NON-SPECIAL ONES
"Yeah, I think it's a lot of fun. At least it looks like it when they do the little thing and they hold onto their belt and stuff like that." Refuse to get down tonight in The Non-Special Ones.
SUN 24 APR 2005
THE GIRLS ARE BACK IN TOWN
"That changed this year, when fourth year Kyle Cumberland may have revolutionised flag capturing." Make a difference in your sport in The Girls Are Back in Town.
Keywords: Sport, Variety, Flag capturing, ACFL
SUN 17 APR 2005
WHAT DO YOU BRING TO YURI'S NIGHT?
"It's pretty good, for a party that doesn't leave Earth." Set your standards hundreds of kilometres too high in What Do You Bring to Yuri's Night?.
Keywords: Space, Community, Yuri’s Night, Interactive, Cosmo quiz
SUN 10 APR 2005
BLOGGERS STUMP EDVARD
"Although I'm still considering inviting him to my weekly orgy." Meet a young lady from Nantucket in Bloggers Stump Edvard.
SUN 03 APR 2005
¿QUIÉNES SON CHIVAS USA?
"Thanks, Sierra Mist. Thanks a bunch. I'm gonna go buy some Sprite now." Have an encounter with product displacement in ¿Quiénes Son Chivas USA?.
SUN 27 MAR 2005
INTERACTION: THE FUZZY GENDER LINE
"Indeed, a popular activity is taking off Ken's head or rotating it 360 degrees." Don't play well with others in Interaction: The Fuzzy Gender Line.
Keywords: Novelty, Interaction
SUN 20 MAR 2005
2005 GOOBNET CHAMPIONSHIP
"The host for the final two rounds was Franka Potente." Settle in on your couch for the 2005 GoobNet Championship.
Keywords: Variety, Tournament
SUN 13 MAR 2005
ANNOYING VOICE GAME
"In fact, now is the only time to be proud of it. The rest of the time, you should be shamed and embarrassed." Answer questionable sounds in Annoying Voice Game.
Keywords: Variety
SUN 06 MAR 2005
SOAP ON A ROPE
"Simultaneously reading one book visually and another tactilely can be a very good thing." Learn to amaze, astonish, and annoy your friends in Soap on a Rope.
SUN 27 FEB 2005
HALF BAKED
"With your help, we can ensure that the US is a safe place for those of us eager to strike fear and panic in the hearts of Americans." Whip those easily led automatons into shape in Half BAKED.
Keywords: Politics, Variety, Intercepted document
SUN 20 FEB 2005
HAND IT OVER, BETTMAN
"Any matters not listed in these regulations shall be subject to Commissioner Dole's discretion." Make the pucks your little black friends in Hand It Over, Bettman.
Keywords: Sport, Support, SPEED, Ice hockey
SUN 13 FEB 2005
SCHMILBLICK PATROL: ANDY REID
"When they're not cheering on Hakan Sükür and Rüstü Recber, Turks love to roll heavy spheres in hopes of strikes, spares, and of course, turkeys." Take part in instant classic games in Schmilblick Patrol: Andy Reid.
Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Schmilblick Patrol, American football
SUN 06 FEB 2005
SCHMILBLICK PATROL: TERRELL OWENS
"I didn't know that, Dutch though I may be." Immerse yourself in international ignorance in Schmilblick Patrol: Terrell Owens.
Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Schmilblick Patrol, American football
SUN 30 JAN 2005
INTERACTION: HOW YOUNG IS TOO YOUNG?
"I can do it in the pool, or in the penalty area." Demonstrate how dirty your mind is in Interaction: How Young Is Too Young?.
Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Interaction
SUN 23 JAN 2005
THERE'S A TELESCOPE FOR YOU
"The Al Gore Lunar Telescope will operate under the same values under which Al Gore operated his political career." Experience the thrill of the little known third category in There's a Telescope for You.
SUN 16 JAN 2005
LET'S BUILD A HOUSE THERE
"Know what GoobNet stands for? Good Option for Overbearing Bombasity, Not Enough Truth." Unleash bitter honesty in Let's Build a House There.
Keywords: Space, Community, Mailbox, Solar system
SUN 09 JAN 2005
ON THE CHECKOUT STAND
"I just open my mouth without thinking!" Jump over Mrs Premise to Mrs Conclusion in On the Checkout Stand.
SUN 02 JAN 2005
BE IT RESOLVED
"A game show with a host who actually plays! Come on!" See if anyone... anyone... anyone wants to play in Be It Resolved.
Keywords: Variety
PLEASE SEND ALL POORLY PLANNED BUSINESS PROPOSALS TO <GOOBNET@GOOBNET.NET>
© 2018 GOOBNET ENTERPRISES, INC [WHICH DOESN’T ACTUALLY EXIST HOWEVER]
THIS FILE ACCURATE AS OF: THU 06 DEC 2018 – 06:35:03 UTC · GENERATED IN 0.010 SECONDS