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I’M AL GORE, AND GOOBNET WILL ALWAYS WIN THE POPULAR VOTE

WEEKLY WHINE >> 2005

... 2001 | 2002 | 2003 | 2004 | 2005 | 2006 | 2007 | 2008 | 2009 ...

IT'S ADVANCED PROBABILISTIC ANALYSIS WITH TARA REID!

"And if any of you media outlets %&@* this up again, we will personally deliver a lottery machine to your office so that you can conduct the experiment yourselves." Get the right answer for a change in It's Advanced Probabilistic Analysis with Tara Reid!.

Keywords: Variety, Review committee

YOU CAN'T FOOL EDVARD

"I mean, you wouldn't want to spend a full day training here at the Russian cosmonaut base only to have to see some incomprehensible brand name on a urinal cake, would you?" Let familiarity breed illogic in You Can't Fool Edvard.

Keywords: Community, Edvard

INTERACTION: MEN'S WORLD CUP DRAW

"It's not what you did, it's what you're going to do." Conduct a preemptive strike in Interaction: Men's World Cup Draw.

Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Interaction, Football, Men’s World Cup

WIN AND LOSE AT THE DRAW

"Thanks to the brilliantly slow work of our Javascript coders, you can do the draw yourself!" Make Germans and Dutch play together in Win and Lose at the Draw.

Keywords: Sport, Community, Football, Men’s World Cup, Interactive

INTERACTION: DATELINE: DISHONESTY

"I just don't have time to go looking for guys at bars or laundromats or clubs or Yahtzee halls." Straighten out your love life with a small straight in Interaction: Dateline: Dishonesty.

Keywords: Novelty, Interaction

OUR NEW FRIENDS ANGELA AND RENEE

"Do cheerleaders always share their driver's licenses?" Tackle the most pressing philosophical issues of the day in Our New Friends Angela and Renee.

Keywords: Sport, Community, Mailbox

FROM TOFFEE APPLES TO TOFFEE PERMITS

"Hey, I'm eighteen and I was elected mayor too!" Stand up and be counted in From Toffee Apples to Toffee Permits.

Keywords: Politics, Community, Mailbox

INTERACTION: CHEATERS NEVER PROSPER... OR DO THEY?

"This really gives you much more freedom in terms of the types of objects you can build with your nose hairs." Find creative ways out of a jam in Interaction: Cheaters Never Prosper... Or Do They?.

Keywords: Computers, Novelty, Interaction

SO MUCH FOR PAGANISM

"'No, I'm something else invisible,' she responds. 'I'm the coalition's exit strategy.'" Plan for everything except the important stuff in So Much for Paganism.

Keywords: Variety, Halloween

LOOK AWAY, JOE

"It also prompted Joe Buck to become Tom DeLay." Go from bad to worse in Look Away, Joe.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPEED

SCHMILBLICK PATROL: SAMBA FAAL

"You ask a question around here, it's asked!" Go out on a limb in Schmilblick Patrol: Samba Faal.

Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Schmilblick Patrol, Football, Gambia

GIMMIE, GIMMIE, GIMMIE

"He thought about sending that to Fabrice until he realised that you can't use bicycle pumps, plated or not, to pump up a football." Take part in the festive Angolan atmosphere in Gimmie, Gimmie, Gimmie.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, Angola, Men’s World Cup

THAT'S MY SQUID!

"That's vomitacular." Prepare to be shocked even more than we normally shock you in That's My Squid!.

Keywords: Community, Mailbox

FOCAL PLANE: MISPLACED MASCOTS

"Very good, Rick. Shall I throw it on the pyre along with Tammy's body stocking?" Meet the world's best dressed pyromaniac in Focal Plane: Misplaced Mascots.

Keywords: Computers, Novelty, Focal Plane

YOUR TIE SHOT THE SHERIFF

"But be careful! Not all signs are ripe for the kicking, and not all vowels are ripe for the buying." Stop kicking at the whistle in Your Tie Shot the Sheriff.

Keywords: Support, Mixed Up Horoscopes

SCHMILBLICK PATROL: TOSHIMITSU YOSHIDA

"We invite you into our studio, we give you a chance to win these wonderful prizes, and what do I get back? A short joke." Take the vertical challenge in Schmilblick Patrol: Toshimitsu Yoshida.

Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Schmilblick Patrol, Football, AFC, Men’s World Cup

COLLEGIATE FIX

"But when we presented this task to them, most of them ran away screaming." Accept the challenge at the risk of your sanity in Collegiate Fix.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPEED, American football

BEHIND THE STUMP

"Look right there. It's got Tablet Up and Tablet Down keys." Play the Hardware Match Game in Behind the Stump.

Keywords: Community, Edvard

STUMPED BY A NEW VARIANT

"The authorities are on their way." Do what we tell you when we tell you in Stumped By a New Variant.

Keywords: Computers, Community, Edvard

INTERACTION: STS-114 REVIEW

"I have orange nail polish! Blue lipstick! A pierced lip, for %&@*'s sake!" Don't be a sheep in Interaction: STS-114 Review.

Keywords: Space, Novelty, Interaction, Space Shuttle

INTERACTION: STS-114 EVA REVIEW

"He has the cutest little thing. He barks along with the theme music." Discover new ways to participate in television in Interaction: STS-114 EVA Review.

Keywords: Space, Novelty, Interaction, Space Shuttle

INTERACTION: STS-114 RETURN TO SPACE

"Did they think I don't know what lemur $#!+ smells like?" Take on the unpleasant realities of space travel in Interaction: STS-114 Return to Space.

Keywords: Space, Novelty, Interaction, Space Shuttle

INTERACTION: STS-114 DELAY

"An orbiter at the ISS is worth two in the VAB." Witness the meeting of Gene Kranz and Confucius in Interaction: STS-114 Delay.

Keywords: Space, Novelty, Interaction, Space Shuttle

INTERACTION: STS-114 PREVIEW

"We need a really freaking big space station, one that rotates to simulate gravity, and that has the Blue Danube playing all the time." Line up for Space Mountain Plus in Interaction: STS-114 Preview.

Keywords: Space, Novelty, Interaction, Space Shuttle

WELL, IT'S ABOUT FREAKING TIME

"I'm selling STS-114 foam rubber index fingers." Make an irrelevant contribution to human society in Well, It's About Freaking Time.

Keywords: Space, Community, Mailbox, Space Shuttle

SCHMILBLICK PATROL: BERNIE ECCLESTONE

"Yes. I want to be eleven feet tall in time for my sister's wedding." Head for the self help section in Schmilblick Patrol: Bernie Ecclestone.

Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Schmilblick Patrol, Motorsport

FOCAL PLANE: UNUSUAL PERFORMANCES

"Painted silver head to toe, Kathleen Ghinelli delivers a masterful performance as Avisa, a female android whose programming appears to feature a random fetish generator." Expose new methods of human-cyborg relations in Focal Plane: Unusual Performances.

Keywords: Novelty, Focal Plane

HOW TO SHAKE HANDS WITH YOUR REFEREE

"But remember, being too kind with your handshake can be just as bad as being too harsh." Learn to bake and shake in How to Shake Hands with Your Referee.

Keywords: Sport, Support, Football, Instructional video

YOU'LL NEVER BITCH ALONE

"Yeah! More TV money for us!" Know where your priorities really are in You'll Never Bitch Alone.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, UEFA, Prediction

EVIDENTLY NOT YOU

"Is that all you could think about when you were playing? No wonder you left with zero." We beg you to take our Silly Bucks away in Evidently Not You.

Keywords: Community, Mailbox

WHO WANTS TO BE A GOOBNETAIRE

"Now before you start getting any wacky ideas, let me just remind you that GoobNet Silly Bucks aren't negotiable currency, and they're not good for anything in the real world, and maybe not here on this site either." Just be glad there's no Fastest Finger question in Who Wants to Be a GoobNetaire.

Keywords: Community, Interactive, Game shows

CSI: BOLOTNIKOVO

"The answer: No. And not just because 'localised global warming' is an oxymoron." Present the possibility of poor phrasing in CSI: Bolotnikovo.

Keywords: Support, SPEED

INTERACTION: LOOKING DOWN ON THE DPR

"Well Debbie, normally it's five days in the Chamber of Flames and then the weekend in the Room of Rotten Fish." Find a new way to keep those long car trips civil in Interaction: Looking Down on the DPR.

Keywords: Politics, Novelty, Interaction

SCHMILBLICK PATROL: JEFF VAN GUNDY

"Well, I'm pretty sure we don't have any ghosts in our dressing rooms here." Give the paranormal their moment in the lights in Schmilblick Patrol: Jeff Van Gundy.

Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Schmilblick Patrol, Basketball, NBA

THE NON-SPECIAL ONES

"Yeah, I think it's a lot of fun. At least it looks like it when they do the little thing and they hold onto their belt and stuff like that." Refuse to get down tonight in The Non-Special Ones.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, England

THE GIRLS ARE BACK IN TOWN

"That changed this year, when fourth year Kyle Cumberland may have revolutionised flag capturing." Make a difference in your sport in The Girls Are Back in Town.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Flag capturing, ACFL

WHAT DO YOU BRING TO YURI'S NIGHT?

"It's pretty good, for a party that doesn't leave Earth." Set your standards hundreds of kilometres too high in What Do You Bring to Yuri's Night?.

Keywords: Space, Community, Yuri’s Night, Interactive, Cosmo quiz

BLOGGERS STUMP EDVARD

"Although I'm still considering inviting him to my weekly orgy." Meet a young lady from Nantucket in Bloggers Stump Edvard.

Keywords: Computers, Community, Edvard

¿QUIÉNES SON CHIVAS USA?

"Thanks, Sierra Mist. Thanks a bunch. I'm gonna go buy some Sprite now." Have an encounter with product displacement in ¿Quiénes Son Chivas USA?.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, MLS

INTERACTION: THE FUZZY GENDER LINE

"Indeed, a popular activity is taking off Ken's head or rotating it 360 degrees." Don't play well with others in Interaction: The Fuzzy Gender Line.

Keywords: Novelty, Interaction

2005 GOOBNET CHAMPIONSHIP

"The host for the final two rounds was Franka Potente." Settle in on your couch for the 2005 GoobNet Championship.

Keywords: Variety, Tournament

ANNOYING VOICE GAME

"In fact, now is the only time to be proud of it. The rest of the time, you should be shamed and embarrassed." Answer questionable sounds in Annoying Voice Game.

Keywords: Variety

SOAP ON A ROPE

"Simultaneously reading one book visually and another tactilely can be a very good thing." Learn to amaze, astonish, and annoy your friends in Soap on a Rope.

Keywords: Community, Mailbox

HALF BAKED

"With your help, we can ensure that the US is a safe place for those of us eager to strike fear and panic in the hearts of Americans." Whip those easily led automatons into shape in Half BAKED.

Keywords: Politics, Variety, Intercepted document

HAND IT OVER, BETTMAN

"Any matters not listed in these regulations shall be subject to Commissioner Dole's discretion." Make the pucks your little black friends in Hand It Over, Bettman.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPEED, Ice hockey

SCHMILBLICK PATROL: ANDY REID

"When they're not cheering on Hakan Sükür and Rüstü Recber, Turks love to roll heavy spheres in hopes of strikes, spares, and of course, turkeys." Take part in instant classic games in Schmilblick Patrol: Andy Reid.

Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Schmilblick Patrol, American football

SCHMILBLICK PATROL: TERRELL OWENS

"I didn't know that, Dutch though I may be." Immerse yourself in international ignorance in Schmilblick Patrol: Terrell Owens.

Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Schmilblick Patrol, American football

INTERACTION: HOW YOUNG IS TOO YOUNG?

"I can do it in the pool, or in the penalty area." Demonstrate how dirty your mind is in Interaction: How Young Is Too Young?.

Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Interaction

THERE'S A TELESCOPE FOR YOU

"The Al Gore Lunar Telescope will operate under the same values under which Al Gore operated his political career." Experience the thrill of the little known third category in There's a Telescope for You.

Keywords: Space, Support, SPEED

LET'S BUILD A HOUSE THERE

"Know what GoobNet stands for? Good Option for Overbearing Bombasity, Not Enough Truth." Unleash bitter honesty in Let's Build a House There.

Keywords: Space, Community, Mailbox, Solar system

ON THE CHECKOUT STAND

"I just open my mouth without thinking!" Jump over Mrs Premise to Mrs Conclusion in On the Checkout Stand.

Keywords: Support, Tabloid

BE IT RESOLVED

"A game show with a host who actually plays! Come on!" See if anyone... anyone... anyone wants to play in Be It Resolved.

Keywords: Variety

... 2001 | 2002 | 2003 | 2004 | 2005 | 2006 | 2007 | 2008 | 2009 ...

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