WEEKLY WHINE >> 2006
MON 25 DEC 2006
“That’s right, your computer is female. Bet you didn’t know that, did you? She says you never bothered to find out.” Let the truth be told in We Don’t Need No Thought Control.
Keywords: Computers, Support, Deep Whine
MON 18 DEC 2006
“You were featured, Bonnie, on page 88,219,343, second column, paragraphs 8 and 9.” Be aware of the location of your success in You Stump Edvard.
MON 11 DEC 2006
“David, does your wife like the feel of your balls?” Know some things you really didn’t want to know about professional basketball in Schmilblick Patrol: David Stern.
Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Schmilblick Patrol, Basketball, NBA
SUN 03 DEC 2006
“Tommy Cruise obviously needs to be monitored, because we don’t know the history of psychiatry and he does.” Stand by for the world’s most predictable joke in Just What They Want.
SUN 26 NOV 2006
“Also a fire truck should drive onto the field towing a midget on roller skates.” Enhance your experience in creative celebratory methods in Going Over the Line.
SUN 19 NOV 2006
“This is not because of some lingering resentment toward the life lessons he dispensed on Full House, nor having been victim years ago of one of America’s Funniest Home Videos.” Uncover the depths of a nation’s feelings about Bob Saget in Focal Plane: Aspiring Hosts.
Keywords: Novelty, Focal Plane, Game shows
SUN 12 NOV 2006
“It’s easy to believe that a reasonable person wouldn’t need a court decision to be able to tell the difference, but remember, this is the United States of America, where suing for the most inane reasons is an inalienable civil right, but privacy isn’t.” Make your preselected vote count in The Great Food Divide.
SUN 05 NOV 2006
“How did you manage to unlock yourself? Actually, how did you lock yourself in the first place? No, you know what, I don’t want to go there at all.” Find places that aren’t suitable for your imagination in Russian GoobNet.
SUN 29 OCT 2006
“Get out of here, you show wrecker you.” Meet a new MP Donnawhy impersonator in Schmilblick Patrol: Tiki Barber.
Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Schmilblick Patrol, American football
SUN 22 OCT 2006
“So which game show floats your boat? Chain Reaction? The Price is Right? How about Starface?” See where your eyes don’t go in Can You See This?.
SUN 15 OCT 2006
“If you ever want to immigrate, we’d be happy to have you in our country. Our borders are always open. For another few months, anyway.” Understand the implications of television personalities’ origins in Interaction: Terminating the Governator.
Keywords: Politics, Novelty, Interaction
SUN 08 OCT 2006
"We need twenty ccs of Wikipedia, stat!" See why stupid questions deserve stupid answers in Attack Ad.
Keywords: Support
SUN 01 OCT 2006
"The services we provide are continually being improved, altered, and increased." Be certain to misunderestimate in Our Rapidly Expanding Media Empire.
SUN 24 SEP 2006
"I bet all the leadership at NASA is aliens!" Make a wager that not even William Hill would take in Sorry, Zak.
Keywords: Space, Community, Mailbox, Solar system
SUN 17 SEP 2006
"But it soon became clear that the first thing any 24 hour news network must have is a big annoying graphic for each continuing story that it covers." Expose yourself to the headlines in Ask for Channel 666.
SUN 10 SEP 2006
"Aren't there supposed to be seven people on shuttle missions?" Apply your counting skills in Last Chance for Orbit.
Keywords: Space, Community, Mailbox, Space Shuttle
SUN 03 SEP 2006
"But why should reality on the ground matter? Shouldn't reality in space be more important?" Strap in to visit reality in Interaction: Planetary Warfare.
Keywords: Space, Novelty, Interaction, Solar system
SUN 20 AUG 2006
"The fact that you summoned them from all the way in the back to answer that stupid question should push them over the edge." Cause mental breakdowns at will in Don't Panic? Whatever.
Keywords: Propaganda, Support, SPEED
SUN 13 AUG 2006
"The US Department of Homeland Security has announced that the water from your tree is not permitted on flights to or from the United States." See how the panic affects botany in Leaky Trees Stump Edvard.
SUN 06 AUG 2006
"And besides, hasn't everyone else told you that Hogwarts is like a younger students' version of Caltech? Only with significantly more expensive set design, of course." Examine the science behind the bullshit in An Open Letter to JK Rowling.
Keywords: Propaganda, Novelty, Backlash
SUN 30 JUL 2006
"I think people have an incredibly irrational fear that someday a superheroine named Lactigirl will appear who shoots down her enemies with high powered jets of milk." Come face to face with the deepest, darkest secrets ever in Interaction: Nipplegate II.
Keywords: Novelty, Interaction
SUN 23 JUL 2006
"Oh, by the way Houston... surprise! I'm not Mark, I'm Scott! Ha ha ha!" Experience the shock of mistaken on-orbit identity in A Robo Chick of Your Very Own.
Keywords: Space, Community, Mailbox, Space Shuttle
SUN 16 JUL 2006
"So, here's your chance to play Luciano Moggi and see if you can be just as corrupt as he is." Prepare the goons in Sale of the Century.
Keywords: Sport, Community, Football, Italy, Interactive
SUN 09 JUL 2006
"Every time they play for the next couple of years, people will be saying, 'Hey, aren't you the guys who got eliminated because you spent the whole match playing for penalties and then missed them all?'" Discover the negative side of negative play in Less Blue, Please.
Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, Men’s World Cup, Review committee
SUN 02 JUL 2006
"If 'divine retribution' means 'learning your lesson', then yes, that's what this is." Feel the Italian way of life in Please Do Not Retributate.
Keywords: Sport, Community, Mailbox, Football, Men’s World Cup
SUN 25 JUN 2006
"The slogan will be: 'Three men enter. One man leaves. And if his hips still work, he'll be the coach.'" Find a way to profit from oddities in "Togo-Agogo" and Other Stupid Puns.
Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, Togo, Men’s World Cup
SUN 18 JUN 2006
"I haven't got any cards!" Keep the referee off your back in Interaction: Men's World Cup Spectators.
Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Interaction, Football, Men’s World Cup
SUN 11 JUN 2006
"We actually have visual effects for this? All right, whatever." Face a significant surprise in Schmilblick Patrol: Lula da Silva.
Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Schmilblick Patrol, Football, Men’s World Cup
SUN 04 JUN 2006
"You are most compatible with someone whose pants stay on even without a belt." Stop thinking about J Lo in Weltmeisterschaft Visitors.
Keywords: Support, Mixed Up Horoscopes
SUN 28 MAY 2006
"I'm Jack Abramoff, and GoobNet is so great, I'm practically giving money away!" Join the lovefest in Not Making the Cut.
Keywords: Variety, Administrivia
SUN 21 MAY 2006
"Those in the second row can easily decrement their row number by one, thus placing them in the first row." See the ability to change positions for yourself in Stay Where You Are.
Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, Men’s World Cup, Intercepted document
SUN 14 MAY 2006
"Keep in mind that this tournament is being held in Germany, the land that gave us the word schadenfreude." Enjoy some of the world's most guilty pleasures in Who Makes the Squad?.
Keywords: Sport, Community, Mailbox, Football, Men’s World Cup
SUN 07 MAY 2006
"And most importantly, if they're milling about on a train track and not paying attention to whatever locomotives might be bearing down upon them, don't they deserve to die?" Pragmatically turn your whims into principles in You Can't Compare That!.
Keywords: Variety
SUN 30 APR 2006
"If you see something other than a toaster, that's how you know you're not done with the program yet." Find a way to prolong participation in Pulling Out a Massive Hairball.
Keywords: Variety, Whose Line
SUN 23 APR 2006
"The Capcoms' win over the Firebirds to close the season out may have been a meaningless match, but the team seemed to play with a new sense of purpose that hadn't been in evidence before." Bring order to a chaotic world in Stunted Publicity.
Keywords: Sport, Variety, Flag capturing, ACFL
SUN 16 APR 2006
"Just don't put us at the Spanish announcers' table." Don't lose your place in the script in Does Not Play Well With Others.
SUN 09 APR 2006
"The cannon's base was then painted red, and it became a campus fixture outside Fleming Hovse, the Ali G of Caltech undergraduate houses." Receive maximum respect in Focal Plane: Wandering Weaponry.
Keywords: Novelty, Focal Plane
SUN 02 APR 2006
"Well, I started to act as though I was gradually getting more and more drunk." See why they don't hand Oscars to just anyone in Interaction: Pranks for the Memories.
Keywords: Novelty, Interaction, April Fools Day
SUN 26 MAR 2006
"You can't really see the Universe expanding. Not with the naked eye." Don't trust your eyes, which can deceive you, in Interaction: Explaining the Inflation Fetish.
Keywords: Space, Novelty, Interaction
SUN 19 MAR 2006
"Football was in Doug's blood." Be proud of a great leader and a great host in Two Stars.
SUN 12 MAR 2006
"This is what we call a stalemated punchline." Develop the boundaries of theoretical humour in MRO Yeah.
Keywords: Space, Community, Mailbox, Solar system
SUN 05 MAR 2006
"But it's not enough just to provide things that make you smart, give you support, offer new experiences, bring you together, and differentiate themselves." Take stock of yourself in Quarterly Review.
Keywords: Knowledge, Administrivia
SUN 26 FEB 2006
"Lindsey, were you thinking Does my board still feel the same?" Get a feel for hard things in Schmilblick Patrol: Lindsey Jacobellis.
Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Schmilblick Patrol, Winter Olympics
SUN 19 FEB 2006
"That's right, Terrell. Today we're going to show you some methods that you can use to ensure that you'll be swearing, bitching, and whining for years to come." Discover the secret to safe writing in The de-Huh?-ification of the World.
Keywords: Novelty
SUN 12 FEB 2006
"This would make procreation impossible, except in the case of hermaphrodites." Be a little bit more than you really need to be in Tips for the Geeky.
SUN 05 FEB 2006
"Carew will contemplate this information, and then say, 'Ooba-ooba nai-nai-nai wolka-wolka gam-gam-gam-gam ooba-ooba nai-nai-nai wolka...'." Don't be the one to miss Silly Noise Saturday in I Call It the HMS Modesty.
Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, UEFA, Prediction
SUN 29 JAN 2006
"The youth of Oklahoma City need to have honest role models like Stephen Colbert, and yet we get some dunking, jumping, dope pushing dope like Andersen." Be a hero in The Birdman of Basketballcatraz.
Keywords: Sport, Community, Mailbox, Basketball, NBA
SUN 22 JAN 2006
"He ain't never gonna threaten nobody." Don't let your guard down in Schmilblick Patrol: Kendra Davis.
Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Schmilblick Patrol, Basketball, NBA
SUN 15 JAN 2006
"If you're going to swear, just %&@*ing do it." Be a pain in the ass in Moratorium.
SUN 08 JAN 2006
"Yeah, I live in the base on Cruella Peak. But I'm thinking of building a habitat on Pongo Planitia." See everything in black and white in Because Old Horizons Just Suck.
Keywords: Space, Variety, Solar system
SUN 01 JAN 2006
"And coincidentally enough, you can see an ESPN original movie, Cheergate: Behind the Stall Door, starring Michelle Trachtenberg and Michelle Thorne, this Saturday night at nine Eastern, six Pacific, right here on ESPN and ESPN HD." Fire up the Unintentional Comedy scale in Santana Muwoss Will Love It.
Keywords: Sport, Variety, American football, Prediction
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